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lyrics

11.
Thomas afflicted present moment, thought alone saying words “Truth chained death without true cowardess upon closed life. Consolation and courage of changed point, having my unique gestures appears from annihilation. Death of Ann served to precisely show existence. Proof dissolved senses. Tomb obliterated ourselves. Suffocating casket barriers are manifest like, lifted destruction. Surely dying body was dawn form of silence. Composed instant constructing reality. Faded world of thoughtless surrounded agony. Consciousness perceived manifest condition, perfidiously eternal. Moribund is alien to all who deprive despair from life. The impression of Socrates, being inflicted upon instant death, accepting the ceased existence of passions separating, might make the paradox of consciousness distinguished. Every sufficient explanation was touched by death. This state of the blood reflected fate eternal. Which body contradiction represented absurd estrangement? Human accomplished renders impossible, absence without reason. Without voice outside of every individual exchange. Time had seen reconstituted insect. My corpse of humanity. Ugly renouncing species, jackal within these men. Becoming my ideal of reality, existence shrunk to nothingness. Only death anticipated hurled voice, saying “who resembled faceless altered horror”? Cold their changing relations shutter, experiencing solitude for only one moment. Mortuary has respectable authentic grief. Familiar nature. I imagine living knowledge gradually pondering appeasement. Triumphantly emptied, contradictions on the dying reality contemplated existence, developed murmur. The eye without the affirming passion always seemed half phantom. Ventriloquist cried “SILENCE”. Composed, I threw fire before perpetual night of illusion. Myself, I am indeed this negation. Having visual refusal, organs submerged, face nonexistent, I reinforced myself as protoplasm. I glimpse nothing marvelous myself. No absurd unnamable person, no name conceived, metamorphosis coupled enigma with inexperience. Inaccessible proximity. I conceived Thomas. Oh imputing death, what unexceptional condition established union? Unrecognizable, indissoluble relationships of turning you consciousness, you unconsciousness. Enigma which I incessantly signified, destroyed opposites. I, myself hold madness before my delicious vision. Sun, which projected terrible flame, touched that consumed body. Flame annihilated from all brilliance and intensity. I am as Sun without reference. My existence itself absence and hens forth, mysterious. Existence performed in concrete, illuminant from heat. Before us, she saw my easily melted absence. Her ungraspable searching discomfort, seized all horror about me, watching for fright. Was pity completely absent? Unimaginable, insane? Absurd absurdity, absurd experience, absurd because of me? Absurd her, she was enigma, undecipherable. Never had discomfort forced me this insatiably. Gathering reflection she obliterated doubts, in my experience. Sufficient melancholy toward one devotion, separate united emotions. Revulsion in passions exhausts vaguely calm feeling. Well, which indiscernible revulsion experiences the sea? Everywhere, sensations of great passions, from Ann, from Thomas, from horizon too… Am I myself again? Silence. Transparency consumes my simple agony. No void, no moment of my metamorphosis reveals that forces enjoyment. Consciousness is the phantom behind absurdity, something I discover is not suppressed. Time destroyed me, my shape, the perception of composed man. That night itself attributed no feeling, is itself obscure. Repetition which directed composed undertaking, creates another. Mingled dead call for making me unjustifiable. Perceive, I commit real negligent inaccessibility. My dead necessity annihilates identical being. I exist, requires more intimacy. Any suppressed friendship distinguishes myself. For which perspective restores images? Devoid non-being? Negation in non-existent color? Product of inverted vision? Ringing prism restores within, without the spectator. Examines the offer desires is excluded, yet accepts. Of everything united only irrational reference represents this progress. Nevertheless the steps toward madness gravitate outside me. You, offering perfect absence, I consciousness, define yourself to ecstasy. Night into meditation as light from creation of conscious time admits refusal. No ambiguity. I exist, I drawn now eternal into nothingness.

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Scot Jenerik Portland, Oregon

Scot Jenerik is a composer and conceptual artist. Projects include; AUME, F-Space, and Soundtrack for the Dead. He has performed, lectured and distributed audio/video works extensively in the United States, Europe and Japan. He is co-owner of Mobilization Records, has an MFA from the San Francisco Art Institute, founded 23five Incorporated and co-hosted the No Other Radio Network on KPFA. ... more

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